Big Decision

In this world where every day is a struggle and where cruelty is becoming normal, having kids if a big challenge. And if you are raising them alone like I did, you know how it feels. My husband and I were happily married for 8 years before his life ended in a car crash. Drunk driver took his life, and took the most important person in my life and lives of our three children. Not a single day goes by without me remembering him. I miss his smile, the taste of coffee that he used to make me every morning, his smell in our bed. But the most I miss is him as a father.

Although me and my kids moved on there is part that he filled and that I can’t. My heart crashed when I realized that I can’t be both father and mother to them. I found great comfort in my friends and family but also I found great help online. On sites like single parent chat there are people like me, in the same or similar situations, with the same or similar problems and doubts. I had really lost period when I couldn’t get out of the house because of the depression and I used to spend hours on single parent chatroom trying to pull myself together. I don’t know why but it was easier to share my deepest fears with total stranger then with my closest family.

I kept on visiting them even when I got better because I wanted to help the others like they helped me when I needed it. On one of these, I think it was single parent chat Canada I found my boyfriend. He is also a single parent, but his story is different. His wife left him and their daughter when she was only two and never came back. She is married to some other guy now, she has new family and she won’t have any contacts with them. At first we just chatted and with time it blossomed into true love. I will never forget my husband, but I am still young and I need normal life and my kids need father. We are thinking of moving in together but we don’t know how to explain it to kids? His daughter is 5 now and my youngest is 6, so they are not too understanding.