Dilemmas of the Heart

This year will be fifteen years since I got married. My husband and I started dating in high school which was probably the best period of my life. We were young, in love and full of enthusiasm. It seemed like it would last forever like in love songs. Everything was just perfect.

We got our first kid after two years and we were the happiest people in the whole planet. After that our first problems started to occur. Sometimes I think that we had our younger daughter just so we could return some of that magic we once had. However it was all gone for good. He started staying late in his office and compliments or romantic gestures directed my way were a thing of the past. I felt devastated, deeply depressed and whenever I wanted to discuss our situation I hit a wall that he had built around his heart.

I don’t remember the exact moment when I started searching for comfort online in married chatroom but soon it became my only social activity; the only place where I could be appreciated and loved for who I am. Here I could be relaxed and talk about all the things that were once reserved for pillows in our bedroom; that only the ears of my loved one could hear about before we fall asleep.

I’m not sure how would I describe the feeling when I met this amazing guy on married chat South Africa. He told me all the right things and I remember that I felt both scared and excited. Do I want to put all those years of marriage to the line because of this guy or should I continue to live the way that only brings me misery and suffering? I was in such big moral dilemma but whenever I went to married chat all those worries would disappear and smile would not come off my face.

Few months have passed and I still didn’t know what to do until eventually I agreed to meet my mystery men in person. I guess I wanted to see if this affection that I felt was just a result of my marriage crisis or is this real thing.

The date was the best thing that happened to me in years. I felt alive, my cheeks were blushing and heart was pumping like I was a teenager again! Soon I realized that nothing bad could come out of this. Nothing will be the same. Either will my husband realize that he could lose me forever or I will ride off in the sunset with my new hero.